For a little more information for those wanting to know, I can share a little about how I got started in all of this.
I enjoy sharing some things about my own journey.
Despite me not deserving it, I've been greatly blessed, and I don't even know how to express how very thankful I am for it.
The graciousness of the Father is so amazing and beautiful, please never for even 1 day take it for granted!
Romans 2:4 "Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of Elohim is meant to lead you to repentance?"
You don't have to read this page, I don't want to bore anyone unnecessarily if this doesn't interest you, I'd just like to share some to those who are very curious.
My hope is that for some, learning a little more about me can increase their trust in me being a sincere real person, and also may somehow lead to you hearing what is shared on this website a little more attentively once you realize I am not just some guy who woke up 1 day and decided to try and appear a certain way, but this is who I am from my heart, and this is my life.
YHWH is my life, and I belong to him.
How I got Started
Now, I'll try to line up the events I mention properly, but please forgive me if I have remembered them out of order somewhere, I don't have solid confidence that I can line them up in perfect chronological order.
Going back now, I was living somewhat typically for the average American, I lived alone in my own house and had various hobbies I enjoyed doing, and I, like most others being trained up by the world, pursued vanity and had my priorities out of the proper order.
It may have never even occurred to me yet that my priorities were wrong and that it was a reflection of my heart.
I am not certain on the year, I've not made it a point to keep a record of the times, but I will say it was somewhere around 2008-2009-2010, I started feeling what I would describe as a fear of Elohim.
It felt like it came from out of nowhere, because this came onto me without me doing things like going to a congregation, or reading the Bible, or learning anything related to Elohim, I was just going about normally in my vain ways in blindness, and yet gained this spirit within me.
This persisted and nothing I could do could distract me from this feeling, but instead, all of the things I was used to doing, I was being distracted from those things due to this feeling that had come onto me.
I started to seek Elohim, and guidance, I felt like I needed guidance for what I was feeling and becoming, my heart was changing.
I did not have people teaching me things, I wasn't surrounded by people who were involved with the Bible or congregations, also I was a bit of a loner, so you may imagine I really didn't know where to go or which way to walk yet.
In fact, that's how it was for most of my beginning story, I like to share this fact because others assume I was trained up by like a certain group, or a denomination came and found me and told me what to think, when in reality I was trained up by YHWH and his Word, the Bible was my guide.
(Give 2 imaginary people who have no knowledge of any religion or denominational doctrines of men a Bible, let them read it on their own and observe how they become, you won't see them turn into or be like a denomination of the world like Catholicism or Protestantism, however multiple people in a similar situation such as myself have came out doing what is shared on this website, this bears witness to the fact it's what's actually in the Bible, people tell stories of how they simply read and obeyed, and felt alone, not knowing yet that there was even others like them!)
Before this feeling and spirit that I would describe as fear came onto me, I was certainly not a righteous person, and to my great shame I did not seek the instruction of our creator YHWH at any time in my life before but foolishly sinned against it.
Previously in my life however, I do recall a few times praying to Elohim, I was living unrighteously, but I was not guilt-free and heartless.
A few years before this fear started to come onto me, an older cousin of mine who lives about 8 hours away had come in to visit my grandmother with his mother, his mother was my grandmother's sister.
He is a leader of a modern Christian congregation, at least he was in those days. I did not know that about him at the time, but anyway, he did not stay long because his mother suddenly became troubled for no apparent reason and demanded they go back early, so on the day that they rushed off, as he was driving down the road, he called my grandmother and told her that he left something for me in the room where he had been staying.
She told me what he said and I was shocked for a moment but then excited, I was shocked because he didn't really interact with me much if at all(my social shyness at the time probably had something to do with that actually, I am not saying he had some fault for that), so I was in no way expecting a gift from him.
I went into the guest bedroom looking around curiously and didn't see anything right away, then I looked in the drawer next to the bed and found a new "KJV Expositor's Study Bible", which is a study Bible put out from a modern Christian leader named Jimmy Swaggart.
As far as appearance, it was easily one of the best looking books I had ever seen, so much that it made me want to use it just for that reason.
I also am a person who loves and collects books so I really liked this gift even though I was not spiritual at that time.
(Later I looked up that book online and it's average cost was around $80! As a side note, do not waste your money on such things!
This book was part of my journey, but I do not desire it to be part of yours, as it was a test for me.
Such books take your money and then try to take your life! I find it sad since someone may spend that large amount of money hoping to become better, or help someone they love deeply along.)
At that time I loved the gift and I took it home and carefully put it away in my bedroom closet for safe keeping, then time carried on, vain amusements and distractions of the world carried on, and this book slipped my mind like it never existed.
(Some time later I found out that he had made mention to my family that he truly felt like he was being led to me for some reason.
This comment really surprised me, and I thought to myself "Why would he be drawn to me?!")
Now going back forward again, to when the fear of YHWH fell on me, I realized in my mind that I had to find a Bible without another moment delay, I recalled that Bible my cousin gave me a few years earlier that I placed into my closet, so I went to my closet trying to find it and by this time it had ended up hidden by other things, so I maybe frantically was throwing things out, and then I found it still sitting there in perfect condition still in the box, waiting for me.
This was a relief when I found it, like air for someone perishing in the depths of the sea.
Back then I made up my mind to gain the knowledge of the Bible, and I committed to doing what it took in the wisest ways I could calculate, and that I would not settle for an incomplete or flawed version of the truth, otherwise any effort would just be in vain.
I am a perfectionist, and was no different with my desires concerning this task.
After this I kept the Bible next to my bed, and sometimes even in my bed next to me.
I started reading it from the very beginning. I made sure that I never went to sleep at night without having read from it that day.
This is when the Bible started to become part of me, and is still to this day linked to my heart.
At 1st I read it somewhat slowly and carefully because it was so foreign to me, I felt I needed to progress carefully to be sure to understand it, and this particular Bible had numerous distracting words from men inside of it, which if you read the added in words it was much much more reading than if you were just reading the scriptures by themselves.
Sometimes you would open it and it looked like there was way more writing from men than the actual scriptures.
I do not think it was long after this at all, about the time I had made it to and read about Abraham and learned who he was and possibly Isaac and Jacob(Yisrael), that my great uncle requested to come stay at my house for awhile, he lives a few states away and wanted to come in to visit the family.
Now he had never done this before, and we had barely even known each other before that point so this was nowhere near a normal occurrence.
I happily agreed to it and then quit thinking about it, figuring my family would tell me exactly when he was on his way or something and I could just prepare for him when they told me he was on his way and I would have days beforehand to expect his arrival.
Now some time after agreeing to him staying, there came a time I started praying to YHWH about certain things, and I asked YHWH for guidance with a sincere heart, I really desired it.
In the very moments after I am praying this, I step out of my front door just to think about things and gain comfort from the outside world, there is a forest outside of my front door and no people around so it is a nice spot to meditate on things, but just within seconds of me having my body out of the door, my great uncle comes trekking around the corner of my house and startles me.
He came into my house and we talked and I enjoyed his company, then he started talking about the scriptures with me, which at that time I still knew very little about as a whole, but had become enthusiastic about knowing what was contained in them.
I was never at all thinking that he would provide this guidance I had been praying for, and the surprise of him showing up had even distracted me from thinking about that prayer, as I mentioned above, I am somewhat shy socially so it was certainly distracting to me.
Then suddenly he started telling me exactly what I was wanting guidance on, answering my main question that was holding my heart back from progressing on greatly.
The thing was, I felt like I was an absolutely horrible person, like there was no hope for me, I felt like I was not good enough for YHWH and that I would never be no matter what, and I was allowing this negative spirit I was holding onto to sabotage my potential by it telling me there was no point in devoting myself to righteousness and seeking it, and living it..
He mentioned some things to me concerning this that opened my mind to feel differently, and he also mentioned one man that really stood out to me, and that was the Apostle Paul.
Paul persecuted the body of Messiah and was even for killing them, though he repented and changed, and YHWH and his Messiah ended up using Paul for great things, and he became a guide for people about truth and led them to righteousness even after he had done such terrible things.
Paul didn't repent on his own, but was even still in his error when Yahushua the Messiah came to him to change him.
I was learning, and most importantly understanding, about the graciousness of YHWH and his son.
That shattered the barriers in my heart and I felt YHWH had blessed me with exactly what I asked him for.
Then later that day, after he shared some more things with me,
I repented and accepted the Messiah, and with my great uncle I proclaimed it aloud.
My great uncle stayed for a few days after that, which during his stay I didn't see him much, but when I did he shared simple things with me here and there that I absorbed and still remember, and he also took me to see his brother(my other great uncle) and his wife who live down the road from me but I've rarely seen.
While I was there my great uncle who was staying with me told them that I had repented and was now a Christian, I felt somewhat shy about attention suddenly being put on me but was happy for them to know the fact, because this fact gave me great joy and relief of heart, it is a great feeling to know you have been saved and can cast certain troubles away.
(I say "certain" instead of "all", because after that point, what then became heavy on my heart was the fact that others were not yet joined to the body of Messiah and serving YHWH.)
The other uncle we were visiting shared some words with me about Elohim, and he also tried to teach me things which I will only refer to as traditions of men from modern Christianity, I was not yet fully aware of that at the time though as I am now.
Also, his wife went and pulled out many little booklets which had supposed scripture studies in them to "help" me with my growth and learning.
I of course happily took them because I had a strong desire to grow to maturity in the knowledge of YHWH.
I wanted and loved truth.
After my great uncle went back home, I devoted myself to YHWH and turned away from everything, things that just a few days before I was addicted to doing like wasting time on certain for fun hobbies, and many fruitless activities, I gave it all up to read from the Bible all day for multiple days, still carrying on from reading at the beginning of the Bible.
Most people read the Bible out of order, and ignore large portions of it, modern Christians were even trying to influence me to do this, but I refused.
I knew in my heart I had to start at the beginning to gain the truth and piece everything together properly, it was logical to me.
I had been playing on a computer regularly since I was probably 6 or 7 years old, my family invested in that kind of stuff before it was as common as it is today, I would play with game stuff, and chat with people daily, but after my great uncle left and I found myself alone in my home again, my computer was not turned on for a long time.
Instead, I sat in a small room with the windows open, not using any AC, and probably not caring to eat that much, with only my Bible, a dictionary on hand to look up any words I didn't understand so that I never read anything and was unsure of what was meant, and a notebook for if I wanted to take a note.
(Don't get me wrong, I mention I was wasting time on activities, but I don't mean all such activities should be 100% avoided and are bad.
Acceptable activities can become bad if we're not balancing them with work and study, there are things we're supposed to be doing. I was way out of a good balance.
I had not yet made time to hear YHWH, so me choosing to do all of those activities over hearing the Word was bad of me.)
Once I started reading, I was so interested in all that I was seeing, and at the same time amazed that despite being surrounded by supposed Christians in a "Christian society", the things I was reading had never been told to me or taught to me, I often was thinking to myself in excitement something like this: Wow I've got to tell somebody about this!
I would like to insert that to me, in my mind, as I started this journey and read the Bible, I didn't think I was a blood descendant of Yisrael, but assumed I was from the foreign people, and didn't think much of it.
Now very early on, as I got to YHWH giving his commandments, as far as I know I had never been told that there were more than 10 commandments, so it was completely new information for me.
I seen that he commanded that we rest on the 7th day Sabbath just as he did when he completed his work and rested on the 7th day, so I found a calendar that my mother had recently bought for me(interestingly she had bought me a Christian themed calendar before me or her even knew I was going to become one) and I looked at what maybe this 7th day was, because I figured if it's the every 7th day, then this cycle has not been broken since creation and there is an actual 7th day of the week that never changes.
I seen it listed "Saturday" as the 7th day of our week, so from that point I set apart the 7th day to keep as a sabbath forever, and it was really fun and joyous for me performing what my heavenly Father wanted me to do, this to me was like discovering valuable buried treasure.
At the time I wasn't sure if I was doing everything right, and I wasn't, such as initially back then starting the 7th day at 12:00am midnight, following the tradition of our modern society, but I was from my heart trying to keep the word and do good.
The Jimmy Swaggart guy's comments had quickly became bothersome to me and questionable in my mind because the things he was saying didn't seem to have any traceable origin other than his own mind or another man's mind and I knew that that was not the truth I was seeking.
Though he sometimes(very rarely) did reveal useful information such as teaching me there was something called a Babylonian Talmud written by men, and men were following it over the Bible and calling themselves "Jews", which I then found out to be Rabbinical Judaism today, the modern day Pharisees, who are still to this day misled by their blind leaders.
Anyway, I would read where YHWH would instruct us to do something, or behave a certain way forever, and this Jimmy Swaggart guy would often come along right after and basically say to not listen to YHWH, and ignore him, and to not care about what he was saying.
He also would throw in a lot of modern Christian "fluff"... I loved YHWH already at this point and it started to make me angry to see him making light of the words of our heavenly Father YHWH.
There was no way I was going to ignore the Father for a man, or anything.
It was quite obvious to me that such a thing would be foolish.
I was resisting looking ahead in the Bible, since I had my heart set on reading from the beginning without mixed information that may alter how I receive certain things for maximum understanding, but Jimmy Swaggart once gave reference to another place inside of the Bible that supposedly said we are free to ignore YHWH.
So after hearing so much from Jimmy that directly was the opposite of what YHWH was plainly saying, I decided to look ahead just for a moment at the reference to see what it could possibly say.
I seen YHWH command to never eat an unclean animal and to treat them as an abomination, and that this is part of being holy to YHWH and set apart from other people on the Earth.
I read my Father's words there and took them to heart, immediately after I then read what Jimmy Swaggart had to say about that verse inside of his "study Bible" and he basically tried to teach me to eat unclean animals and said a verse in Acts 10 was where it said we could now eat them.
So, I saved my place and proceeded to open up to Acts 10 to just quickly view what he was talking about, because it did not make sense to me for the creator to reveal information about the world to us, and to command us to do something for eternity or else we are cursed and unholy, and then turn around and say never mind, changing his mind and contradicting his words, and causing any of his words to become obsolete.
I read all of Acts chapter 10, I didn't know who Peter was, or the people it was talking about, so I did not know the greater context of everything yet at that current time, however reading the full chapter clearly showed me Jimmy Swaggart had attempted to mislead me, and thousands of others who have used his very expensive "Study Bible"..
The context of Acts 10 was obvious when read in full to see what was really said.
It was very easy to see, a child could see, that it said no such thing like we can eat unclean animals and YHWH done away with what he wanted us to do, and Acts 10 was not even really about unclean animals and us eating them, but it was a lesson about gentiles/foreigners!
Peter had a vision about unclean animals and in the vision they represented the gentiles, the foreigners to the Yisraeli.
I had no trouble seeing this even as a new student, simply because I looked to see what was really said, and what really left me in disbelief was the fact that the text in Acts 10 even tells you clearly what was meant, and it was not about doing away with the Word of YHWH, and it was not about us eating unclean animals.
Jimmy Swaggart, a man who is supposed to be a leader of Christians for many decades, showed he didn't even know what
Acts 10 said! To a new student of the Bible, realizing such a thing can be very shocking, but it also is very helpful when you start to see things for how they really are, and how things are being the way that they are.
So I then knew that this Expositor's Study Bible was a tool to mislead me from realizing the Truth I was seeking, and this book was testing me constantly and also distracting me from reading the scriptures at a quicker undistracted pace.
I then stopped reading the notes added in by Jimmy Swaggart and his co-workers.
This book, and other such books, will attempt to brainwash you into modern Christianity's crookedness and blindness.
I will share a photo of some of this book so you can see what I was dealing with, here you can notice he sometimes would even make multiple insertions to a single verse!;
While I am on the subject of crooked sabotaging information, I also sat down to examine those booklets I got from my other great uncle's wife to "help" me with my learning, and seen that they not only were self contradictory to the point they were disturbing, and really terrible at accomplishing anything, but they contradicted the scriptures I had learned, yet they were what some people were using in their "Bible studies"..
I didn't recognize these things as having anything to do with the Bible I had been reading, but were foreign, something based on Biblical things.
They did not add up when compared to the Bible, and I seen how modern Christians would snip out single sentences and shape them into wrong teachings.
I felt like I dodged another bullet there. I decided I would hang onto them, to study them, but not as one may think, but to study them so I could gain the understanding of what modern Christians are thinking and claiming, to get to the bottom of all that I could, and ultimately use that knowledge to fight against it.
So from this I started to learn that others were saying bad things that were easily proven to be not true, and that they appeared to just be misunderstanding.
In the beginning of my journey I innocently actually thought that the people I spoke up to and warned would all want to be corrected, and be greatly joyous at me telling them the truth!..
However, I quickly learned that most did not want to change anything that they were doing and would completely ignore the scriptures, and some who did appear to receive the truth of the scriptures at 1st, also seemed to change after going around other modern Christians and talking to them about it, and getting talked out of walking the path I tried to set them on.
I also had no experience sharing such things, I barely had experience with socially interacting at all with people outside of my small circle, which I suppose this sure didn't help the people I was now suddenly speaking with realize there was truth to what I was sharing and that it wasn't just the usual denominational babbling.
Thankfully I have improved some at this task, and also got more efficient at it as time went on, but then I realized being more familiar with the scriptures so that I have no hesitation in getting to the points and answering misconceptions of people right away, just caused the resistors to flee from having to hear truth that much quicker.
A lot of modern people participate in Bible related conversations as a battle that they're trying to win against the other person with their pride on the line, instead of seeing and using communication as a means for improvement and refining so we're more acceptable to Elohim.
So when they're waging this conversational "war", once they get a feeling that they're being overcome in battle, the primal and fleshly fight or flight response kicks in and tells them they should flee immediately or they will be slain(Figuratively of course, though it seems like some would actually choose real death over their pride being harmed, which is exactly what they're choosing when they in pride reject the Word.).
Some modern Christians were covering their ears at me, and this is something I still find perplexing today that they can claim certain things yet behave in such a way even if I am just sharing Bible quotes, for some it seemed like I could cause physical pain just from reciting the Word of YHWH from my Bible, like they've got an unclean spirit.
They only wanted what they desired to hear to enter into their ears, nothing contrary, however that is a terrible habit that leads to failure and lacking understanding.
To continue on even further.
Sometime after this, I laid in my bed in the dark one night meditating on things, around that time in my life I was in a very down mood, I was not myself but rather felt dead, I was facing an injury in the shoulder that is known as a "career ending injury", that leaves many people struggling to perform physical activities, I couldn't use my arm for normal activity and I felt somewhat handicapped because I was refraining from doing things I wanted to do, even picking up a cup and drinking from it would produce a symptom, and this was especially terrible for someone like me who enjoyed and felt a need for physical activity, and also desired to do physical labor.
Now, as I laid in my bed that night, I prayed to YHWH and in my prayer I asked him to help me, and I asked him to please just touch me, and at that time I felt maybe the most amazing thing in my life.
I felt an overwhelming feeling of joy and life come into my body, like a strong tickle right in the heart of my being and all I could do was laugh out loud in joy, I couldn't hold it in.
After that sometime, I woke up in the morning, I walked out of my bedroom through my house and as I was walking through my house admiring the bright sunlight that morning I lifted my arm up to see how it felt that day and was wondering if it would be unstable like usual, but instead it did not show the symptoms that had been haunting me!
I started to grow in excitement, but also tried to not get carried away, because I had been down in my shoulder for years, I kept wondering to myself if it was real or if I was mistaken, and I kept testing my arm repeatedly.
After having that issue for a very long time making me feel sad it was a huge relief to me, and it had actually finally healed.
Still now my shoulder is doing great and I use it for all of my normal activities including heavy lifting and physical labor, and I can carry my child.
The symptoms that tortured me and prevented me from using my arm, are still gone.
I had received a bit of a gloomy "death sentence" for my shoulder from various people, who said I will never be 100% again, and it will return later even if it heals, but so far I have been blessed to be free of that fate. My shoulders have even gotten stronger and more solid as I have aged.
This experience as well shaped my journey and heart, and helped me progress.
Being broken in that matter was in my way, and I was blessed to have it taken out of my way.
Every book of the Bible that I finished I grew in understanding.
I may have learned more in a week of dedicated reading than I did in my entire life from the modern Christians around me.
Yet, even after all of this devotion, and revelation, I came to a point where I allowed distractions in my life to lead me astray.
I suddenly had the opportunity to partake in things I had really wanted to do in the past, something that required a lot of focus and distraction, and I ended up reading less, and less, and less, until I let my heart get too far away, and in that state you start to move backwards from your progress.
This lasted for around 2-3 months.
I was led astray for that amount of time, I may have been lost from those foolish mistakes, but then my world ended up crashing HARD.
Initially I took it as a horrible thing, but now I am thankful for that crash. I better understand now how such things can be blessings to us.
I started thinking clearly again and realized I had messed up my progress in life, and I was bothered by it, and I sought more guidance to lift my spirits back up and I prayed about it because my heart was broken due to my own foolish actions.
Right after I prayed to YHWH, I got up off of my knees and walked out of my back door into my yard, and yet again my great uncle I mentioned at the beginning who lives states away walked around the corner of my house and startled me!
I was not expecting him at all, no one had told me he would be in.
I was very shocked and invited him into my house.
He had came in to visit family again and was staying with someone else this time and had walked up the road from their house to come visit me.
Another unexpected thing, I had just recently been reading over a book that caught my interest that I found among my mother's books about sharing YHWH with other people, and it alone was sitting there on my living room table when we walked in.
This book caught his eye, and it was news to me that this book actually belonged to him and he had given it to my mother some time ago. I found this very interesting.
When we sat down to talk he eventually brought up YHWH and the Scriptures, to see how I was coming along since he had last left me and realized I repented.
He seemed to be pleased that I had learned many new things since he had last visited and I now knew who the people were that he was talking about, but I didn't tell him I had fallen away from diligently walking the right path for a period to where I let other things creep in and distract me from my journey and desire for righteousness.
As I said, just before he got there I was praying for guidance on something, and before he left that day he again told me exactly what I sought to hear, and I again got that guidance I was hoping for!
I don't know how that could be just a coincidence.
I was in shock at that point and couldn't help but tell him how I just got off of my knees praying about something and he instantly showed up and answered my questions to where I didn't have to wait for an answer to solve the problems in my head.
From that point I have been striving to walk in the ways of YHWH and stay on the hard and narrow path, fighting against the distractions of the flesh.
The world has not relented in trying to seduce me off of my journey.
I went back to studying the scriptures with all of my heart again, and continued diligently focusing on being in context, and taking notes. When I read through my notebooks it was like I was speed reading the Bible because I went from the beginning and as I progressed through the notes my memory recalled the text surrounding those areas.
After my journey and experiences, and my diligent training in the Word of YHWH, actually reading for myself, I came to realize that the entire reality being pulled over the masses was a deceitful lie leading them like sheep to the slaughter, and that it didn't look like just a coincidence either.
Though I was not sure how to help them realize this unless they went through the same process I did and received new eyes, ears, and heart.
I started trying to show people what the scriptures said, and almost always instantly got met with resistance.
I was met with pride, scoffing, ridicule, cursing, hatred, and so on.
Most of those who were not so prideful and were nice enough to listen to me speak, did often start to realize the truth and think things were interesting, and show sparks of light, and want to learn more of what I was sharing, but once they left my presence and returned to the sheeple, they were quickly taken back to lies when they let others talk them out of it, and turn their heart away from me, and they spent more time around the lies than the truth of the Bible I was trying to get them to see.
The lies are normal to the modern world, so it's easy to return to that "normal" and dwell in it. It's actually comforting to the flesh, it is hard for the flesh to be set-apart from the world.
(Holy means set-apart.)
Also I realized that there was no shortage of people making Biblically incorrect statements on the internet, so after knowing the truth and having read the Bible to know what it actually said, I decided to start replying to comments of people here and there, in hopes that someone would start to care about the truth of the scriptures and start to grow as I did.
I felt like I didn't have much of a choice about interacting with people like that, I knew truth has become so rare that they seriously risked perishing, and all of their life being for nothing and a forgotten memory..
I do not want that to happen to anyone, so as hard as it was, and out of character for me up to that point(Many people probably never expected to hear such things from me), I talked to them about scriptures, out of love for them and their family.
Something that still is a great pain to me today, my love for others can cause them to hate me, and hate what I do in effort to awaken others, my efforts for them getting repaid with hatred.
I started spending time speaking towards people online and I found it to be easier than I expected, it was like I had an ability I didn't even know was there, because I had read the Bible, and I had taken notes so I could easily provide the scriptures to support what I was telling the people.
To my amazement I also was having good recall to exact pages almost instantly in the Bible, I wasn't expecting the scriptures to be so retained in me so easily.
For some cases, while I could recall what was said and so on, and the context, I wasn't always able to recall the exact chapter and verse, so sometimes I had to spend a little time looking around for a single verse again when I only recalled the book it was in, also translational differences could hinder my relocating of something I wanted to share.
This hesitation and time could add up when I planned on sharing multiple verses not just 1, and the slower I went, the less likely I felt I could make a heart changing impact on people.
So it could take a lot of time, effort, and energy from me to open up the Bible and find all of the spots I was thinking of, or go through my notes and find a specific spot I wanted to share.
Modern Christians in their resistance often may throw out many different points in a confusing reply of resistance, so I usually needed to find many different verses to share.
This is probably the main thing that led to me developing an online space to replace my physical notes so I could easily navigate through them and simply copy and paste scripture quotes, I liked the idea of being able to spread scripture quotes easily like seeds.
I also liked to go back over the sections to make sure my memory was perfectly correct with the context.
It is that online note database that evolved into this public website.
I studied the scriptures and history over the years, and many various things to help increase my knowledge and understanding.
I also studied modern science, as groups made claims that modern science disproved the Bible. I studied it, and reviewed the information they claimed proved the Bible to be false, and every single time I seen no such thing, but empty claims, nonsense, and lies. Men have started following assumptions and interpretations of assumptions as absolute truth, and none of it really stands up to true science and investigation.
Men are basically choosing the things they will declare as facts, and then it's like they forget they're actually the ones who made up these "facts", and masses of people are following after these insane people, taking their words as reliable.
Modern science, like modern Christianity and other denominations of the world, are frauds built upon contradicting lies.
Not only did I obsessively search and study things in the hours that I was awake, but I also started to have a few dreams that taught me things and wisdom, expanding my realization.
I'd even like to share 1 of my dreams, of the 1st time in my life I had a dream about YHWH. It was not like a normal dream, but I still am not sure if it was just a dream or really a vision meant for me, but either way it struck fear into me.
I was inside a building, it had rows of seats inside facing the same way, it looked somewhat like the inside of a typical modern Christian congregation building, and today also reminds me of a certain funeral home in my area that I visited right after the time of this dream.
There was some activity with people going on around me, they were chatting and such, but after this I decided to change seats, I at 1st was sitting over at the back-right wall, then moved over and up to a center position of the room.
As I was moving to a seat, in the row directly in front of me there was someone, I was taking a seat directly behind them.
They were not facing me and to me looked to not be moving at all, as in I did not see any signs of this person paying attention to me, or focusing on what I was doing or what others were doing around them.
But as I was taking this seat I became surprised and confused, they suddenly spoke to me as if they were looking at me face to face and had been watching me.
I remember thinking to myself along the lines of how do they know that I am here and what I am doing, so I said to them, how can you see me?
Then he replied back to me, I see everything, and I instantly knew this was YHWH speaking to me and it shocked me, and at that time the people around me started to burn up, not just burn up really, but the people were melting, melting like if they were made of wax. (It takes a fierce heat to literally melt a human)
Such an image is very troubling.
I woke straight up out of the bed, and was in shock.
I make sure to never forget, YHWH sees everything.
Now, here I am today, still searching for the next level to climb to, with the hope that I will finish the race and have my name confessed before YHWH by the lamb of Elohim, and I hope to be a blessing to others along the way.
Even if I am judged to not be worthy of life eternal in those days, my great desire is still to help others and make sure they do not make the same mistakes I have made during my life, so that they can live in peace and happiness, and be rejoined with their Father YHWH, and not bring pain, sorrow, and suffering onto themselves and their family.
Ever since I 1st opened this website, I have been updating it here and there over the years, molding it into something useful for me and others who were willing to take a moment to view over it.
Initially the website was private and was only for my eyes and even contained collections of saved dialogues of me and modern Christians that I 1st started to share with, so that I could study and learn from them, to learn their ways of thinking, and to learn my errors and things I should improve on, such as before I wouldn't address all things the people said since I thought it was irrelevant if I could just show but 1 scripture to prove their ideas wrong, but I realized I should take care to address every real issue, and to the other people viewing the exchange that could come across as me not having a proper understanding and make them think there was actual legitimacy to the modern Christian teachings.
As I worked with the website I eventually got the idea to change it to something that could be shared with others, and I removed the dialogues so that I did not betray the trust or privacy of anyone, I do not wish to shame anyone, and I myself am not perfect anyway.
So please be understanding if the quality here is not professional, and the website does not meet your every wish, I am just a lone man typing on here like I would be typing to my close family and friends, and have to go back over and alter the text to be more formal and free of errors.
Please feel free to assist me in this project that may bless someone out there.
I am not the only 1 to have went through a journey like this, there are many others.
When I 1st woke up, I kinda thought I was alone in the world, but then I was shocked when I started to realize there were many others spread throughout the world who was like me, and obeyed YHWH and his Son, rejecting the lies of the world.
I suggest you seek out others as well who may accomplish the work I am trying to accomplish even better, or perhaps they have some points and angles that are beneficial to you.
Plenty more things have taken place, many more blessings and answered prayers, but I won't try to share my entire life story here, it's not all pretty, do not mistakenly think I am a great righteous perfect man, because I still make errors and shame myself.
I just wanted to help others understand my efforts a little better, and also know I am a real person who has went through a real process, and not just a man who up and decided to do something to attempt to gain vanity.
I have never stopped studying, searching, testing, considering, etc.., it has become a part of who I am, to desire and love truth, to love YHWH the Father of all and his righteous son Yahushua.
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